To Treason July 4, 2007
Posted by Paul in USA.Tags: USA
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Today I will have a drink in honor of my most favorite traitors in history, the Sons of Liberty and the Founding Fathers. They at least knew what to do with their troublesome George and his loyalists.
Shufflin’ on Over July 1, 2007
Posted by Paul in Blawg.Tags: Blawg
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I’ve started a personal site (actually, two): palubicki.net and www.palubicki.net. Be careful! That “www” is actually important in this case! The first site is my attempt to consolidate RSS feeds from all my online activities into one place, as well as a “check this out” kind of thing. The second one is a traditional blog set-up. Both link to each other. I’ll still post here about general stuff.
I Quit Smoking Two Years Ago… June 22, 2007
Posted by Paul in Personal Crap.Tags: Personal Crap
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…but my brain doesn’t think so. I think the oddest thing about quitting smoking happened about six months ago, when I started having the most realistic and vivid dreams I’ve ever experienced. In the dream, I’m usually stressed out about something, so I bum a cigarette off someone and light-up. I feel everything: the smoke in the back of my throat, my pulse increasing, and the gentle buzz that you get when you haven’t smoked for a while and decide light one up. The dreams are so real, that they’re often indistinguishable from memories and I have to think twice and convince myself that they’re not.
Just a couple of days ago, I thought to myself, “Wow, it’s been over two years since I’ve had a cigarette.” But then I stopped and thought, “No, wait, didn’t I have one a couple of weeks ago? No, I couldn’t have. But I remember doing it. No, that’s not– dammit.” It usually takes a few seconds before I figure out it was just a memory of a dream and not an actual memory itself. Still, I often have to do those double memory-takes because my brain has up and decided that it really happened.
It is the oddest damned thing.
Dramatic Chipmunk June 20, 2007
Posted by Paul in Funny-Stuff.Tags: Funny-Stuff, videos
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I don’t know why I find this so funny. It’s stupid.
Post-Rehab Career Opportunities June 5, 2007
Posted by Paul in Entertain Us, Vegas.Tags: Entertain Us, odd-jobs, Vegas
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ARE YOU THE GIRL WHO:
• PARTIES LIKE A ROCK-STAR?
• CUSSES LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR?
• CAN DRINK MOST GUYS UNDER THE TABLE?
• LOVES TO SHOCK PEOPLE WITH YOUR CRASS BEHAVIOR?
SEEKING WOMEN 18-30 WHO ARE NOT SO LADYLIKE
“MY FAIR LADY” (Working Title) is from the producers of The Apprentice, Wife Swap and Nanny 911. Their new show will transform BOLD, OUTSPOKEN PARTY GIRLS into “Proper Ladies”
Be ready to be whisked away for a chance of a lifetime and a chance at a BIG PRIZE! You will come back a new and improved WOMAN!
To APPLY or NOMINATE somebody you know, please email a pic and short description of why you or your friend would be right for this show!
Odd Jobs May 30, 2007
Posted by Paul in Funny-Stuff, Vegas, Weirdness.Tags: Funny-Stuff, odd-jobs, Vegas, Weirdness
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So I’ve been cruising Las Vegas’ craigslist, and so far, the talent category is proving to be a surprising source of comic relief. For example, check this one out:
Mature older man to play priest for convention. Okay, now that in itself is enough to send the Creepmeter to about an 8 or a 9, but this pegs it out:
Needed June 24 and 25 for a few hours each day. Older gentleman to dress as priest and take photos. Please email your photos and resume
Two questions: 1) Take pictures of what? 2) Resume? Resume?! Do you need to show experience being a “mature older man”? Do you have to demonstrate the ability to dress in clothes and take pictures?
As the current Geico campaign winds down, the actors might want to consider this job: CAVEMAN IMITATOR NEEDED :
Seeking a male actor for a 5-minute skit dressed as a caveman for a dinner party on Friday, June 1st, 2007 between 8:00pm – 9:00pm. Serious inquiries only!
* You will be responsible for costume and make-up
* Available to meet on Thursday at the Venetian for audition
* Compensation $500.00
Don’t throw away those prosthetics and costumes just yet! It’s bring your own! I mean, really, what itinerant actor doesn’t keep a caveman outfit and make-up with them just in case an opportunity like this comes along? And notice that they need a caveman imitator, so they obviously need someone who can draw upon the vast wealth of information about modern caveman mannerisms and social habits for five minutes of unrivaled dinner party hilarity. Oh, and serious inquiries only! We don’t need those jokers who think that all you need to do is slap on a leopard print, grab a club and grunt for five minutes.
Finally, if you’ve always been afraid that your male pattern baldness was a barrier to infomercial success, then worry no longer. Your time has come:
2 balding Men that appear 30 to 55 years of age.
We don’t need guys who are receding or balding a little on top. We need two guys who if you look at them, you notice a lot of balding on top.
Timmer? There’s a $175 fortune waiting for you in Vegas, although I don’t know if you meet their stringent baldness requirements or not. They’re pretty precise. I mean, we’re talking German engineering, here.
I Got a Job May 29, 2007
Posted by Paul in Personal Crap.Tags: get-a-job, Personal Crap
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Well, the search is over. I accepted a job in Las Vegas today. Not only did they offer the most pay & benefits, the job itself was in line with what I was wanting to do after I got out and the people there seemed friendly, fair, and good to work with. After doing a lot of thinking, I decided that I really didn’t want to do mechanical work as my primary job anymore, and this is the only job that offered me what is essentially an 8-5 office job with good prospects for promotion. It’s a b2b “Inside Sales” job for a company that manufactures pumps, valves, regulators, and the like. It’s also the only job that fit with my vision of what I wanted to do after I got my degree. I didn’t get my degree so I could continue doing the same stuff I’m doing now (or regressing); I got it to move on and have a chance at something better.
So, I’m off to Vegas, now. I’m going to miss California, but quite frankly, it’s gone downhill quite a bit. I’ve only lived here for five years, but in that time, it seems like the undesirables from Oakland and Vallejo have made it over the hills and poured into our valley, dragging down the quality of life here. It’s a good place that’s been ruined by bad people and it’s not going to get any better. Judging by all of the “For Sale” signs in formerly nice neighborhoods, it looks like I’m not the only one bugging out.
Now, I’m not saying Vegas is going to be any better, but at least it’ll be different. There’s a bunch of Mormons there, so it can’t be too bad. I’m told that if I stay out of the northern parts of the city, it’s not that bad at all. I’m thinking about living down in Henderson, which is south of Vegas and apparently populated by regular, middle-class folk like myself. The major plus is that the cost of living is not as high as it is here. You can actually find a three bedroom house for only $300K or less there, which is amazing.
Since I have a job lined up, my priority now is to find a place to live and coordinate moving my family and cats to the new town. I still have to figure out the logistics for that, but I just want to take one day to enjoy the moment before tackling the next big challenge.
Quick Note May 24, 2007
Posted by Paul in Personal Crap, Tech.Tags: get-a-job, Internets, Personal Crap, Tech
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I’m flying up to Portland tonight for my last job interview tomorrow. So far, all of my interviews have gone really well and I hope this one does, too. I’m glad this is my last one, because I’m starting to get “interview fatigue”. There’s only so many times you can answer the same questions before they start sounding practiced and rehearsed, or worse, boring. Sometimes, I have to fight sounding like Steven Wright when I’m saying the same thing for the 50th time.
Also, I started up on Twitter (user name: paplikaplik). It’s really a useless waste of time, but it seems like the perfect vehicle for short, snarky comments or observations. The cool thing is that I can update it via Gtalk on my Blackberry, so I always have an outlet when I’m bored, frustrated, or just feeling froggy. You don’t even have to go to Twitter to see my updates, either. Just scroll down the right sidebar on this page and you’ll see my last three. If you have a Twitter account, let me know or add me as a friend.
Anyway, you guys stay safe and have a nice Memorial Day weekend.
Paul